Draft Day Dilemma: Jonathan Taylor vs. Kyren Williams in 2024

Alright, listen up, y’all. We gotta figure out this whole football thing, this “Kyren Williams or Jonathan Taylor” mess. Don’t go gettin’ all fancy on me with them long names, just tell me who’s gonna win me some points, ya hear?

Now, these fellas, they both run the ball, that much I know. Some folks sayin’ Kyren’s the man, especially in that second week of the, whatchamacallit, “fantasy football” season. Fantasy, huh? Sounds like a bunch of hogwash to me, but if it gets me a win, I ain’t complainin’.

People, they keep talkin’ about “drafting” these players. Sounds like pickin’ chickens at the market, but I guess it’s important. They say Jonathan Taylor, he’s a big deal, almost a first-rounder. Second round, first round, makes my head spin. Just tell me if he’s good or not!

And they got these “experts,” hundreds of ’em, jabberin’ on about who to pick. Experts, shmexperts, I say! They probably never even seen a real pigskin in their lives. But they do be sayin’ Kyren’s the better pick sometimes, and then other times they’re all over Jonathan. Can’t make up their minds, can they?

So, one fella says Kyren’s good in week two. Got it.
Then another says Jonathan’s almost a first-round pick. Okay, okay.
And a whole bunch of ’em are arguin’ about who to “start” in week thirteen. Start what? A fight? Lord, have mercy.

Then they got this “panic meter” thing. Says Jonathan hit “rock bottom” in week twelve. Rock bottom? Sounds like he fell in the well! I hope the boy’s alright. But seriously, if he’s at rock bottom, maybe he ain’t the one to bet on, huh?

Now, they’re throwin’ numbers at me. Kyren ran for 72 yards and a touchdown. Seventy-two yards? That’s like runnin’ from here to the old oak tree and back a few times. And a touchdown? That sounds important. But they also sayin’ he didn’t “get involved” much in somethin’ else. What’s that about? Can’t a fella just run the ball no more?

And them experts, they keep talkin’ about “PPR” scorin’. What in tarnation is that? Sounds like somethin’ the city folk made up to confuse us country folk. Just tell me who scores the most, dang it!

Look, from what I gather, both these boys are good at runnin’ the ball. Kyren seems to be doin’ alright lately, and Jonathan, well, he had a rough week. But he’s supposed to be real good, a big shot. It’s a tough call, like pickin’ between two prize-winning roosters.

They got these “mock drafts,” thousands of ’em. Sounds like a whole lotta wasted time to me. But I guess it helps these folks figure things out. And from what I hear, it’s still a toss-up between these two.

So, what’s the answer? Well, if you ask me, and nobody ever does, I’d say go with your gut. If Kyren’s runnin’ good, pick him. If Jonathan’s back on his feet, pick him. It’s like plantin’ corn, sometimes it grows, sometimes it don’t. You just gotta take a chance and hope for the best.

And don’t listen to them experts too much. They’re just a bunch of city slickers who ain’t never seen a real football game in their lives, probably. Just use your common sense, and you’ll be just fine.