Okay, so the other day, I got this idea stuck in my head: I needed to make a definitive cookie tier list. Not some random internet thing, but my list, based on actual, you know, eating.
First thing, I had to figure out which cookies were even in the running. This wasn’t easy. I started jotting down the classics: chocolate chip, obviously, oatmeal raisin (yeah, I know, controversial), shortbread, peanut butter. Then I thought about store-bought versus homemade. That seemed like a whole different ball game. To keep it manageable, I decided to stick mostly with common types you could find easily, maybe a mix of packaged ones and some from a local bakery I like. I wasn’t about to bake ten different batches myself, let’s be real.
Getting the Goods
So, I went on a little mission. Hit the grocery store, grabbed a few different brands of chocolate chip cookies – the crunchy kind, the soft-baked kind. Picked up some Oreos, some Chips Ahoy. Then I swung by that bakery downtown for their shortbread and maybe one of those fancy iced sugar cookies. Ended up with a pretty decent spread laid out on my kitchen table. Looked kinda ridiculous, actually.
The Tasting Ordeal
Alright, the main event. I decided to do this properly. Poured myself a glass of milk, got some water to cleanse the palate (fancy, right?). I recruited my partner too, because you need a second opinion, otherwise you just spiral into your own weird biases. We agreed on some basic criteria:
- Taste: Duh. Does it taste good? Too sweet? Not sweet enough?
- Texture: Crunchy, chewy, crumbly, dry? Is it pleasant?
- Overall Vibe: Does it feel like a treat? Would I reach for another one?
We started working our way through them. Took notes. Argued a bit. Like, I defended oatmeal raisin, saying it’s hearty, and they just made a face. The cheap packaged chocolate chip cookies? Mostly disappointing. Kind of plasticky tasting, you know? The bakery shortbread, though? Solid. Melt-in-your-mouth stuff.
Building the Tiers
This was the hard part. We drew up the classic S, A, B, C, D tiers on a piece of paper. S-Tier was for the god-tier, life-changing cookies. D-Tier was basically “why does this even exist?”.
S-Tier: This was tough. That bakery shortbread made it. And a really good, soft-baked chocolate chip cookie (one specific brand, not gonna name names, but it hit the spot). These were the ones you’d hide from other people.
A-Tier: Good, solid choices. The classic crunchy Chips Ahoy landed here for me. Reliable. Predictable. Oreos made it here too, mostly for the dunking potential. Some decent peanut butter cookies.
B-Tier: Okay, but not amazing. The fancy iced sugar cookie ended up here. Looked nice, tasted mostly of sugar. Edible, wouldn’t complain if offered, but wouldn’t seek it out.
C-Tier: Meh. This is where the oatmeal raisin landed, despite my protests. Also some of the drier, blander store-bought cookies went here. You eat them if they’re the only thing left.
D-Tier: Reserved for the truly offensive. Luckily, nothing we tried was that bad, but one brand of generic “butter cookies” came close. Dry, flavorless, just sad.
The Final List
After much deliberation and milk, we had our list. Just scribbled on that piece of paper. It felt pretty definitive, at least for us, for that day. It wasn’t scientific, just based on what we liked after stuffing our faces.
Honestly, the whole process was kind of fun. Made me realize how picky I actually am about cookies. And yeah, confirmed that fresh bakery stuff usually beats the pants off the mass-produced packaged guys, but sometimes you just want a reliable Oreo, you know? Anyway, that was my cookie ranking adventure. Now I probably need to eat a salad.
